In the modern world we live in, there are all sorts of communication etiquette procedures. For example, what is required in a response to a text, post, etc.? Is a response even expected or required? What are the nuanced differences between responding electronically vs. in the flesh? Paul gave clear, concise instructions about what we say and how we say it in Colossians 4:5-6. These instructions will many times cut against the grain of human nature, but for God’s children living as pilgrims in this world, the instructions of grace, salt, and how to answer are timeless no matter what culture props up or how “innovative” man becomes.
What to say: Considering the injunction to speak with grace while seasoned properly, part of what we say may be what we don’t say. In Ecclesiastes 3, Solomon writes about the different times and seasons wherein sometimes it is a “time to speak” or perhaps a “time to keep silent.” For individuals like me, we were taught by people with good old fashioned horse sense who said, “If you ain’t got nothing good to say, don’t say nuthin’ at all.” Wise words from a wise generation. Gracious speaking doesn’t answer strife with strife or railing for railing. Some people are geared to think something needs to be said to break silence and uncomfortable moments. Peter is a good example of this on the Mount of Transfiguration. When he made his “tabernacle talk” about Jesus, Moses, and Elijah, he did it because he wist not what to say. When we don’t know what to say, silence is perfectly acceptable. When we don’t know the answer, “I don’t know” is an acceptable response. Part of what we say is knowing our own limitations and relying on the One who has no limitations.
How to answer: Paul says the end result of what we say yields the profit of knowing how to answer every man. Now, while it is true that “I don’t know” is a perfectly acceptable answer about things beyond us, there are some thing where “I don’t know” should be a shameful response. Peter tells us to be be ready to give an answer to every man that asks us. (I Peter 3:15) What answer is that? The hope that we have. When someone asks us where our hope is, where our home is, where our strength lies, etc. that answer should be ready always. Nicodemus was chastised by Jesus in John 3 for not knowing certain things as a Master in Israel. For the household of faith, we should be masters in spiritual Israel and know things without needing to be taught again. Are we sinners? Yes. Are we saved? Yes. How did that happen? The right response to that cannot be “I don’t know.” How we answer the question flows from the grace and seasoning that He has planted within us in the new birth that we can say with confidence (hope) how we feel about Him who has done all things well.
The Example: When looking at the life of Jesus here on earth, sometimes He answered, sometimes He didn’t. Sometimes His words seemed soft and compassionate, while at other times, they were firm and sometimes violent (like overturning moneychangers’ tables). In all things, He is the example of what to say and how to say it. Idle words didn’t pass from His lips, nor did His words lack the grace and seasoning that we sometimes attach in a natural way. Many people think of grace as simply being kind, deferential, etc. Real grace is the imparting of something not deserved. Jesus owed us nothing, yet even in His words, He gave us so much insight not only into what He was doing but also how He thought. Studying His interactions gives us the right tools to equip our daily journey to overcome the assaults of the enemy. Years ago, there was a fad of people wearing things that had “WWJD” on them. The idea is “What Would Jesus Do?” During that time, I jokingly said I was going to start my own line of merchandise with “WDJD” on it. Instead of asking, what would He do, we should rather ask “What Did Jesus Do?” as His example will serve in any situation we face seeing He was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)
Friends, this is a high level look at what it is we talk about, but I believe the church of God has been given proper, complete instruction of when to speak, what to say, and how to say it. The Bible is replete with examples of how to do it and how not to. Looking at the many avoidable strifes in my life, too many times it boiled down to a failing of mine in one or more of these areas. I love absolute language in Scripture, and Paul makes it clear in our study verses from Colossians 4:5-6 that this to be done “always.” There is never a season where it doesn’t apply, and no matter what you face, this is right course. Just as our prayers and rejoicing should be always and without ceasing, may our speech be tuned likewise so that we can reflect proper praises to Him who has called us out of nature’s darkness into His marvelous light.
In Hope,
Bro Philip